[15] The True Love of Millionaire

[15] The True Love of Millionaire
[คลิกที่ลิงค์นี้ จะมีคำแปลเมื่อท่านวางเมาส์บนคำศัพท์, ลด font ลงหน่อยอาจจะดูง่ายขึ้นครับ: http://tinyurl.com/yuv7yg ]

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "

Millionaire: " I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "She must be some woman. What were you before you married her ? "

Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

[14] Life after Marry

[14] Life after Marry

[คลิกที่ลิงค์นี้ จะมีคำแปลเมื่อท่านวางเมาส์บนคำศัพท์, ลด font ลงหน่อยอาจจะดูง่ายขึ้นครับ: http://tinyurl.com/27nwtp ]

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

__________________________________________
Learning Part
burden = A source of great worry

[13] Stress Reliever .. 2-3

[คลิกที่ลิงค์นี้ จะมีคำแปลเมื่อท่านวางเมาส์บนคำศัพท์, ลด font ลงหน่อยอาจจะดูง่ายขึ้นครับ: http://tinyurl.com/29cn9v ]

Stress Reliever .. 2
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
__________________________________________
Stress Reliever .. 3
Father to son after exam: " Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

[12] Stress Reliever .. 1

[12] Stress Reliever .. 1
[คลิกที่ลิงค์นี้ จะมีคำแปลเมื่อท่านวางเมาส์บนคำศัพท์, ลด font ลงหน่อยอาจจะดูง่ายขึ้นครับ: http://tinyurl.com/25cnpj ]

Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why ?

Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

[11] Hard of Hearing

[11] Hard of Hearing
[คลิกที่ลิงค์นี้ จะมีคำแปลเมื่อท่านวางเมาส์บนคำศัพท์, ลด font ลงหน่อยอาจจะดูง่ายขึ้นครับ: http://tinyurl.com/yv6lcf ]

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said,"Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listento the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

Learning Part
hearing aid = A sharp point at the leaf or stem
Will = a legal document declaring a person's wishes regarding the disposal of their property when they die

[10] Forgetful Couple 2

[10] Forgetful Couple 2
[คลิกที่ลิงค์นี้ จะมีคำแปลเมื่อท่านวางเมาส์บนคำศัพท์, ลด font ลงหน่อยอาจจะดูง่ายขึ้นครับ: http://tinyurl.com/yvnywu ]

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly".
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said,
"What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns."

"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man.
He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled,
"Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?

Learning Part
thorn = A sharp point at the leaf or stem

[9] Newborn

[9] Newborn
[คลิกที่ลิงค์นี้ จะมีคำแปลเมื่อท่านวางเมาส์บนคำศัพท์, ลด font ลงหน่อยอาจจะดูง่ายขึ้นครับ: http://tinyurl.com/34g8bc ]

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:

"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."

"Really !? Like a newborn baby !?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants".

Learning Part
bench = A long seat usually without a back
wet my pants= To urinate with the pants still on.

[8] Forgetful Couple

[8] Forgetful Couple
[คลิกที่ลิงค์นี้ จะมีคำแปลเมื่อท่านวางเมาส์บนคำศัพท์, ลด font ลงหน่อยอาจจะดูง่ายขึ้นครับ: http://tinyurl.com/2lnjvm ]

During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
"Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks."Will you get me a bowl of ice cream ?"
"Sure."

"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it ?" she asks.
"No, I can remember it."
"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it ?"

Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down. I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

Then he toddles to the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stares at the plate for a moment.
"Where's my toast?"

Learning Part
toddle = Walking slowly
stare= Look at something or someone directly and strongly.
toast = A heated bread

[7] What is Margeting?

[7] What is Margeting?

[คลิกที่ลิงค์นี้ จะมีคำแปลเมื่อท่านวางเมาส์บนคำศัพท์, ลด font ลงหน่อยอาจจะดูง่ายขึ้นครับ: http://tinyurl.com/2rdege ]

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" That's Direct Marketing

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich. Marry him." That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich "Will you marry me?" That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich...? That's Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. That's Customer Feedback .

Learning Part
gorgeous = Very beautiful
Recognition = The process of recognize something by remembering

[6] Saving Method

[6] Saving Method

[คลิกที่ลิงค์นี้ จะมีคำแปลเมื่อท่านวางเมาส์บนคำศัพท์, ลด font ลงหน่อยอาจจะดูง่ายขึ้นครับ: http://tinyurl.com/2jmjbd ]

An uncle has been waiting for the bus at the bus stops. After few minutes, the bus arrives but did not stop at the bus stop. The uncle thought it will stop a bit further so he start running after the bus.
Unfortunately, the bus never stop. It keeps running. The uncle keeps following the bus until he realizes that he arrives home already.
The uncle is very happy that he can save a bit of money today. He happily told his wife "Honey, you know, today I ran after the bus until arriving home. I don't have to pay the bus fee"

"Stupid" instead of compliment, the wife surprisingly blames her husband. "Do you know how much you can save, if you ran after taxi!!"

Learning Part
It's a stupid joke. The wife thought her husband can save more money if he ran after the taxi because the taxi fee is normally more expensive than the bus fee.
Arrive = Reach the destination
Further = More distant (Comparative of far)
Unfortunately = Unlucky
Fee =A charge for services
Surprisingly = Adv. fo surprise
Blame = To find fault on someone

[5] Difficult/ Easy questions

[5] Difficult/ Easy questions (วางเมาส์บนศัพท์เพื่อโชว์คำแปล คลิกที่ลิงค์นี้: http://tinyurl.com/2aysev )

In one interview, the interviewer got impatient about one guy because he could answer all the questions so quickly and arrogantly.
"Tell me your choice," said he to the boy, "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or ONE real difficult. Think well before you make up your mind."
The boy thought for a while and said, "My choice is ONE real difficult question."

I "Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!" said the man on the opposite side. Tell me: What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted first but he waited for a while and said: "It's the DAY, sir."
"How??" the interviewer was smiling ("At last, I got you!" he said to himself.)
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"

Admission for the course was thus secured.

Learning Part
Impatient = Unable to wait for some delay
Arrogantly = Adv. for arrogant. Under too much pride or self-importance
Opposite = Locate across something else or from each other
Jolt = To move in a sudden manner

[4] Horse Letter

[4] Horse Letter (วางเมาส์บนศัพท์เพื่อโชว์คำแปล คลิกที่ลิงค์นี้: http://tinyurl.com/2hjaw6 )

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on."

She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She answers, "Your horse called."

Learning Part
Smack = Sharp hit
Bet = Gambling / stake on the outcome of an issue
Shrug = Raise shoulders usually to show that you don't care

[3] What time is it?

[3] What time is it? (วางเมาส์บนศัพท์เพื่อโชว์คำแปล คลิกที่ลิงค์นี้: http://tinyurl.com/2xl75j )

A tramp lie down and sleep in the park. He had been sleeping for about 5 minutes when a couple walked by. The man stopped, woke the tramp up , and asked him, "Excuse me.
Do you know what the time is?" The tramp replied, "I'm sorry - I don't have a watch, so I don't know the time."
The man apologised for waking the tramp and the couple walked away.
The tramp lay down again, and after a few minutes went back to sleep. Just then, a woman, who was out walking her dog, shook the tramp's shoulder until he woke up again.

The woman said, "I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'm afraid I've lost my watch - do you happen to know the time?" The tramp was a little annoyed at being woken up again, but he politely told the woman that he didn't have a watch and didn't know the time.
After the woman had gone, the tramp had an idea.

He opened the bag that contained all his possessions and got out a pen, a piece of paper and some string. On the paper, he wrote down, 'I do not have a watch. I do not know the time'.
He then hung the paper round his neck and eventually dropped off again.
After about 15 minutes, a policeman who was walking through the park noticed the tramp asleep on the bench, and the sign around his neck.
He woke the tramp up and said, "I read your sign. I thought you'd like to know that it's 2:30 p.m."

Learning Part
Tramp = Homeless person
Apologize = To make excuse for a fault or offense
Politely = Adv for Politely. Refine / Showing consideration for others
Contain = To have as component part
Possession = Noun for possess. To own something

[2] Chinese and Spielberg

[2] Chinese and Spielberg (วางเมาส์บนศัพท์เพื่อโชว์คำแปล คลิกที่ลิงค์นี้: http://tinyurl.com/ys8dkg )

One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here."
The astonished Chinese man replied "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese". "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship." Shocked, Spielberg replies "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

[1] Important Things for Doctor

Important Things for Doctor (คลิกเพื่ออ่านเรื่องพร้อมคำแปลเมื่อวางเมาส์บนศัพท์: http://tinyurl.com/2bwh3l )

In an anatomy class, a professor teaches his students with the real dead body.
Every students stand around the surgery table. The dead body lie there covering by a big white blanket.
The professor starts teaching " To be a good doctor, there are two important things that everyone of you have to keep in mind. The first one is NEVER FEEL DISGUSTING WITH THE BODY"
The professor then open the blanket and slowly poke his finger deeply to the dead body's anus, spin the finger and suck it right in front of the students.
The professor said to everyone "do it Hurry!"
The students are all feeling very disgusting with the bizarre example but they all decide to do it just to satisfy the professor.
After everyone is done, the professor strongly stare at everyone and said out loud.
"Well, the second important thing for being a good doctor is that "BE OBSERVANT." If you noticed it you would see that I poke my middle finger in the anus but suck my index finger!!"

ฟิตอังกฤษกับ clean Joke ที่นี่ !

สวัสดีครับ
อ่านโจ๊กได้ทั้งความฮา และ English reading skill
ผมจะพยายามหา clean joke มาลงที่หน้านี้บ่อย ๆ ครับ
พิพัฒน์
= = = =
[15] The True Love of Millionaire
[14] Life after Marry
[13] Stress Reliever .. 2-3
[12] Stress Reliever .. 1
[11] Hard of Hearing
* * *
[10] Forgetful Couple 2
[9] Newborn
[8] Forgetful Couple
[7] What is Margeting?
[6] Saving Method
[5] Difficult/ Easy questions
[4] Horse Letter
[3] What time is it?
[2] Chinese and Spielberg
[1] Important Things for Doctor